


Sea Shanties for a Sick Day

by wordsthatbeginwithz



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:47:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26671627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordsthatbeginwithz/pseuds/wordsthatbeginwithz
Summary: In a pirate MMO, Sea Hawk finds a woman with the most enchanting voice he’d ever heard. What’s he to do when the day comes that he can’t sing her romantic sea shanties over voice chat?
Relationships: Mermista/Sea Hawk (She-Ra), Scorpia & Sea Hawk (She-Ra)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 17





	Sea Shanties for a Sick Day

**Author's Note:**

> This idea is 100% stolen from the group, [The Longest Johns](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBRuG4GMZ98), who go around singing sea shanties on pirate MMOs, which I think is one of the funniest things ever. It seemed like it would be very on brand for Sea Hawk to do something like that, so have this very silly AU. Set in pre-COVID times. Also I am not a gamer, so I don’t know what I’m talking about, please forgive me.

Once upon a time, Sea Hawk had free time. But that was before he was introduced to the wonderful world of massive multiplayer online pirate games. In an instant, he was hooked. There was adventure! Terrifying sword battles! Shiny loot and rocking boats! Normally painfully cheery in the morning, he started drinking coffee by the pot, after staying up late completing quests and slaying foes. And the day he discovered voice chat, he finally had an audience for the sea shanties he’d been obsessed with singing for years -- other unsuspecting players!

So when the most jaw-droppingly beautiful voice he’d heard in his entire life came out of his speakers, there was only one thing to do. 

“Can I sing you a song?” he said into his mic. 

“Um, what?”

Undeterred by her confusion, he took a moment to collect himself and started in loudly on the first verse of _10,000 Miles Away._

“Oh god, please make it stop,” she groaned. 

His face fell behind his monitor. But he knew how to take a hint. He was nothing if not respectful. He stopped his shanty mid-line, and went off to go find other players who would be more appreciative of his talents. But as his avatar walked away from the honey-voiced player, he heard the ping of a message.

**SeaPrincess538** why’d you stop?

 **TheDashingArsonist** You asked me to :( 

**SeaPrincess538** okay

 **SeaPrincess538** but it was kind of catchy tho

Sea Hawk broke out into a grin at her change of heart. He sprinted his avatar back to the boat that hers stood on, sitting up straighter in his chair. He filled his lungs and sang with feeling, _“Ohhhhhh.”_

And so it went on from there. Every weekend morning, Sea Hawk would log on and sail the virtual high seas searching for the princess. Once he had cared not who he found to serenade, but now he picks his shanties thinking of only her. Some days he finds her easily, so easily he suspects he might not be the only one looking. But other days, it can seem impossible. When he doesn’t see her at any of her usual haunts, he’ll try messaging her a quick question, despite her response being the same, every time. _‘Don’t be creepy, dude’._ Only, it’s hard to take her comments at face value, when on the days where it takes Sea Hawk so long that he’s about to give up and log off, he’ll get a notification with her in-game location, sent without comment. 

But when he woke up one Saturday morning, a miserable pile of snot, throat on fire, he knew he wouldn’t get to hear her sweet voice. Tired and a little put out, he curled up with Netflix and the tea his roommate left next to him, as he slowly drifted back off to sleep. 

Hours later, he’s woken up by a _ding!_ from the computer and drags himself over to check the notification. 

**SeaPrincess538** u ok? 

**TheDashingArsonist** Great! 

**TheDashingArsonist** Actually not great, I’m sick. Otherwise, great!

 **TheDashingArsonist** But my singing voice is not up to par today sadly. :(

 **TheDashingArsonist** Miss me? ;) 

**SeaPrincess538** no 

“Scorpia!” Sea Hawk tried to yell to his roommate in the other room, but only a scratchy whisper came out. He pulled out his phone and texted her, impatient to recruit her for the ingenius plan he'd only just come up with. 

**Sea Hawk** Come into my room please!!!

 **Scorpia** Are you out of tea? Tissues? What do you need? 

**Sea Hawk** No! I need your help courting my love!!

 **Scorpia** You have a love? When did you fall in love? No one tells me anything anymore :(( 

**Sea Hawk** She’s from that online pirate game!

 **Sea Hawk** I need you to be my voice, since I am tragically without mine!!

 **Scorpia** Your voice? 

**Sea Hawk** Yes! She misses my sea shanties! 

**Sea Hawk** I can’t let her down! I need you to sing them for me, during my debilitating sickness. It’ll be a grand romantic gesture! 

**Scorpia** Aren’t you supposed to do those yourself?

 **Sea Hawk** Nonsense! This way she’ll never see it coming! 

An hour later, Scorpia was sitting at the computer, next to a Sea Hawk bundled up in layers of blankets and armed with a pad of paper.

**TheDashingArsonist** Princess! Are you online? 

**SeaPrincess538** yeah, it’s not like I have anything better to do

“Alright!” He rasped enthusiastically to Scorpia.

“Oh wow, you sound pretty bad.” 

_I know, hence this grand innovation!_ He wrote on the notepad. 

“Okay, okay, so what do I do,” Scorpia said, pulling up the game, and logging in. “Are these controls?” Mashing the movement key, she ran the avatar off the side of the boat. “Oh no, oh no, I think we’re drowning. Yep, we’re definitely drowning. What do I do?” 

Sea Hawk reached over and clicked the _restart_ button that popped up. 

After they had mastered the controls, or rather, Sea Hawk had finally accepted he would have to move them through the world, they came across the beautiful floating name “SeaPrincess538” on one of her usual islands, well known for spawning buried treasure. 

“Oh, it’s you,” she said into the voice chat, as his character walked up. “I thought you were like, sick or whatever.” 

There was a long pause as Sea Hawk abandoned the keyboard to write down hurried notes, shoving them towards Scorpia.

“Uh, _‘I am’_ ,” Scorpia read into the mic stiffly. “' _I recruited my wonderful roommate_ ’ -- aww, you think I’m wonderful, Sea Hawk? Oh, right, anyways, he’s saying ‘ _I recruited my wonderful roommate to be my voice, and serenade you with the sea shanties that I know you so love_.’” 

“Um, what is happening right now,” she said. “I _don’t_ love the sea shanties, I just put up with them, okay?” 

“‘ _Whatever you say, princess_ ’, also he added a winky face,” said Scorpia. “Anyway, so I guess I’m going to sing you a shanty now? Is that okay?”

“Ugh, _fine,_ but only because this is the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

There was silence for a minute, as Scorpia took a few deep breaths. “Okay, okay, you can do this,” she said. 

“I can do what?” the sea princess asked.

“Oh no, sorry,” Scorpia laughed. “I’m just psyching myself up. This is the first time I’ve ever sung shanties, besides the hour we just spent practicing.” 

“You both spent an _hour_ on this?” 

“He says ‘ _anything for you_ ’,” Scorpia said. “And I’m always happy to help. So this one is called -- uh what was it, Sea Hawk? Right. This one’s called _‘The Coasts of High Barbary_.’ **”**

And she started in on the song. Sea Hawk always forgot what a beautiful singing voice Scorpia had, when she overcame her self-consciousness. It would have done the shanty incredible justice, if she’d been getting the tune or words even close to right.

He scribbled on his notepad and held it up. 

“‘ _You’re getting it all wrong_ ’,” Scorpia stopped singing to read it, then said quieter to him. “Is that to the same tune?” 

“‘ _No_ ’,” she continued reading as he wrote the next one, “‘ _I’m talking to you, Scorpia, stop read_ ’-- ohhh _._ Well, I’m sorry, I don’t know sea shanties, Sea Hawk, I told you that already.” 

“Well _this_ is fun,” came the voice on the other end. 

“‘ _We practiced for a reason_ ’,” Scorpia continued reading. “' _No, don’t read this one eit_ \--.’ Okay, Sea Hawk, we need some sort of code. Maybe rabbit? Yeah, draw a rabbit on the cards you don’t want me to read. Why are you shaking your head?”

As frustrating as the situation was when all Sea Hawk wanted was to give his new beloved the tunes she so desired, it was hard to be annoyed when he could hear the sea princess’s laughter on the other line. 

Two more failed attempts and Sea Hawk excused Scorpia, who seemed to be getting increasingly stressed with each shanty attempt. To his surprise, the princess stuck around for the whole disaster. Even feeling like death, he couldn’t help but smile to himself as he turned off the voice chat and typed a message to her. 

**TheDashingArsonist** I am terribly sorry, Princess, it would seem my plan had a few more flaws than I was expecting

 **SeaPrincess538** that was hilarious 

**TheDashingArsonist** So my plan worked after all! 

**SeaPrincess538** i mean, it didn’t, but it was funny anyway

 **TheDashingArsonist** I wish only to entertain you!

 **SeaPrincess538** you’re such a dork

 **TheDashingArsonist** If you wanted, I could be your dork ;)

 **SeaPrincess538** um, i don’t even know you, you’re a stranger

 **SeaPrincess538** an internet stranger

 **SeaPrincess538** you’re probably a murderer 

**TheDashingArsonist** :( I would never murder you 

**SeaPrincess538** ugh FINE 

**SeaPrincess538** i’ll give you my number 

**SeaPrincess538** but only because your weirdness is entertaining 

**TheDashingArsonist** WHAT REALLY??

 **SeaPrincess538** don’t murder me, i’ll be like so mad


End file.
